India: Hates You

Having finished up our time in India we jumped into a taxi to Chennai airport eager for all the civilization we could handle in Singapore. But alas fate had other things in store for us. We successfully negotiated the armed guards at the door that demand to see your tickets before you are allowed in, then look stunned at the temerity of someone actually using electronic tickets in this day and age, and just ask you again as if you will suddenly have sprouted tickets as part of the natural ageing process.

But we made it inside, checked in, and waited for the emigration queue to wind its way forward. At last we reached the desk and the disaster started to unfold. It turned out that contrary to what the Jordanian Indian Embassy told us, the Visa we had was not valid for three months from date of entry but three months from date of issue so we were about a week overdue having spent only six weeks in India. At this point things still seemed OK but it should have been obvious that this is not the kind of country where you make any kind of mistake. Unlike say a modern open nation like Myanmar where overstaying a tourist Visa is punishable by a 3USD/day slap on the wrist, the Indian government in its infinite wisdom saw to the heart of the matter and decreed that overstayers shall be punished in the most dreadful way imaginable. By not being allowed to leave.

They pulled our bags from the plane and told us to go visit the Visa office in Chennai on Monday. Of course they couldn't even get that right as we had to wait from Saturday night till Tuesday morning for the office to be open. Then it was a matter of completing the Indian bureaucracy scavenger hunt. We had to provide a bank cheque for the hefty fine, because obviously the Indian government would not be able to accept something as ludicrous as Indian cash as a means of payment. We had to provide a letter stating why we had overstayed which makes a small amount of sense in a schoolyard "say you're sorry" kind of way. We had to provide a signed letter on hotel letterhead from our hotel confirming where we were staying, cos if it was the wrong place we definitely couldn't be allowed to cease staying there. And of course new passport photos and photocopies of passports and visas, because that's what all the cool countries ask for, right?

So another day lost to the scavenger hunt, then another day for 'processing' and we had a hopefully unique half page stamp in our passports and there was only the ritual shaking of dust from our feet (well my feet, Jacquie is more forgiving) before we jetted off to Singapore, and let me tell you organised authoritarianism never smelled so sweet.

PS: Luckily I still love India due to every second ad on the telly during our stay in Chennai being paid for by the Indian Ministry of Tourism.

PPS: The Singapore Airlines staff in Chennai are awesome helpful people, who never gave us an ounce of crap though they definitely could of.